Do you scare guys away?
Is it just you or have you noticed that guys do not naturally gravitate to you?
Is it something you said, the way you look, the way you pair your disruptors with your coat?
Well, guys can get scared of you not because of who you are.
Learn how to take down that force field and let guys into your world.
Running With Your Pack of Friends
Why he is scared: A pack of loud and proud girls can make any guy’s attempt to spend more time with you something akin to an expedition into a wild, shrieking, and utterly chaotic jungle. Guys like their “moves” to be private, and trying to get to know a girl better in the context of her girl friends is definitely not private.
Girl friends can also be very protective on their own, and as a result, can be incredibly judgmental without meaning to be. A guy’s efforts to meet a girl can be easily viewed as being too brash, while a budding friendship will often be met with a lot of teasing and snide comments.
How to Un-scare him: While you can’t tell your friends what to think, you can ask them to act in a way that you think is best. Tel them to tone down their comments, and do the same in return.
That way, guys will view you and your girl friends as a group of people worthy getting to know better, and in the process, you will meet a whole lot of new friends as well.
Why he is scared: Any person in his right mind would probably not want to go where he is not wanted, right?
The same thing goes for potential love interests.
While the “cold” girl attracts a certain amount of interest in her own right, the interest is too often only speculative. People are curious about the girl who can cut guys off at the knees, but once the thrill of the chase is gone, the interest (and whatever feelings may be present) soon follows suit.
At the same time, a sharp tongue and icy demeanor will make a lot of would-be guys look somewhere quite easily.
How to Un-scare him: On the other hand, girls who are extremely friendly are usually pigeonholed as being just that: friends.
So what’s the right attitude to take?
Well, this really depends on one’s personality
The best thing to do is to always remember that you are a lady, and a lady must carry herself with dignity and gentility.
An openness to friendship without being overly eager can also go a long way in showing that a girl is worthy to be met and pursued.
Asking too many questions.
Why he is scared. Of course, wanting to get to know someone is a good thing.
And asking questions is the easiest way to do that.
But when it comes to affairs of the heart, can there be too much of a good thing?
In a word, yes.
Many guys, by nature, are not very talkative. At the same time, there are matters guys prefer not to discuss too much.
So when girls ask guys too many questions about things they deem very personal – especially on a first date – it makes them uncomfortable.
It scares the heck out of them!
Uncomfortable enough, in fact, for them to avoid girls who ask too much.
How to Un-scare him: There is no easy way to get rid of this tendency, but the best thing to do is to be as sensitive as possible.
Guys are usually quite transparent when it comes to showing discomfort, so when getting to know a guy, observe how he reacts to different topics.
If he starts squirming in his seat, redirect the conversation. He will be thankful for it, and you’ll be setting the stage for him to be more open with you in the future.
Being very smart.
Why he is scared: We will agree that having this as an obstruction is unfair. However, that is simply the way it is.
Girls who are very smart and do well in academics as well as in extra-curricular activities can be quite intimidating for many guys, since their “logical” selves are seriously challenged.
It may also appear that you are way too busy to hang out.
How to Un-scare him: What can you do about it?
First, don’t be the aloof school genius.
Smile, laugh, spend time with people, and be ready to meet new friends.
Show others that your intelligence is only one aspect of who you really are.
Contrary to popular belief, guys like girls they can have decent conversations with. Your brains guarantee that you can hold your own while talking; all you have to do is to prove you are willing to talk to practically anyone.
Second, and more importantly: Find friends (including guys, of course) who are willing to accept you for who you are.
You have brains, but does that make you any less of a good friend?
No, so why pine for people who may think that you are nothing more than a teacher’s pet?
Surround yourself with people who really appreciate you as a person, and the romance factor will soon make itself felt.
Putting on too much makeup.
Why he is scared: Makeup is meant to enhance one’s beauty. But why do some girls use so much of it?
Just as girls like guys who make an effort to look decent, guys love it when you invest some time in how you look.
However, guys shy away from girls who put too much stock in using makeup to enhance their natural beauty.
For them, it signifies that a girl is too maarte about things including relationships.
And to the more aesthetically inclined (read:shallow) among guys, it can also mean that a girl might have something to hid.
How to Un-scare him: The solution here is simple – don’t use so much makeup!
Understand you are beautiful just as you are, and you don’t need a boatload of enhancers to drive that point home.
By cutting down on makeup, you project a lighter, more approachable, and non-threatening image to guys.
You can also look younger and save a ton of money in the process!
Talk about a win-win situation.
Acting like a damsel in too much distress.
Why he is scared: Admittedly, guys like a girl who can make them feel needed. But being helpless to extremes may be an automatic red flag, especially considering how much females value gender equality these days.
Relying on guys for everything – from driving to the mall to walking the dog – can make guys feel like they are simply being used, and seeing a girl act like this can make guys think twice about even just coming up to say hi.
How to Un-scare him: There is really no need to act like a full-on princess just to make boys feel needed. Learning how to do things on your own gives you a better appreciation of a lot of things around you, including the help you receive.
It also makes you more down-to-earth, and thus approachable.
That’s something guys will definitely take notice of.
Do you still think you scare guys? Drop by in the comments and tell me about your sitch!